COBB COUNTY, Ga. — A couple is working to help other families coping with an unbearable loss, after losing their own child shortly after she was born. Now, Jeff and Jessica Beacham are taking their pain and turning it into purpose.
Just a few months ago, the couple was beaming when they learned they would be adding one more to their family of five. Twenty weeks into Jessica's pregnancy, she received devastating news. Doctors diagnosed her baby girl with anencephaly, a birth defect affecting the neural tube and that causes the baby to be born without parts of the brain and skull.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it's estimated about one in 4,600 babies born in the United States are diagnosed with anencephaly.
“No matter how prepared you are for life’s ups and downs, there’s always something new coming," Beecham said. “While no one’s ever prepared, we certainly felt like it was in God’s hands and we were ready to experience the limited joy in its most fullest sense.”
The Beecham's carried Birdie to term at Wellstar Kennestone Hospital. They had just 84 minutes together before Birdie died. In 84 minutes, the family celebrated a birthday and made their peace.
They credit a device called a Caring Cradle, which keeps the baby in a condition where grieving parents can spend more time with them. They said another family who had been through a similar situation donated the device to the hospital.
"When you lose a baby shortly after birth, it can sometimes be traumatic, especially if it’s not something known in advance," Beacham said. "When it’s a sudden thing to be able to get 30 seconds or 20 minutes, and then hand your baby off, it just compounds the trauma you go through. That ability to process and not just have to send her off and know she’s in the building somewhere else.
The Beecham's are now working to raise money to donate a Caring Cradle to Grady Hospital, so other parents can have more time with their babies. They found help through Journey Through Bereavement, an organization that helps families deal with loss. Brittney Bottoms founded the organization after losing her son in 2015. She has helped nearly two dozen families in metro Atlanta, Texas and Indiana since starting the nonprofit about five years ago.
"We partner you up, pair you up with a nurse who walks alongside you through the whole pregnancy, helps with all your birth planning and how to make memories, meeting with neonatologists and perinatologists," Bottoms said. "They just kind of help bridge that gap of all these hard decisions you’ve got to make. They help walk alongside you and help you make those so you can spend the most time possible with your baby.”
Journey Through Bereavement has the same initials as the son Bottoms lost seven years ago. She has also found inspiration in loss and is passing along lessons learned in that loss.
“You feel things you never thought you’d feel," Bottoms said. "Some days were really beautiful, loved feeling him kick. Some days, you’re just so devastated. You’re not alone. It’s not strange, and there are options to choose to carry a baby who has a life-limiting condition.”
One of the nurses who assisted the Beecham's worked at Grady Hospital, which inspired the couple to direct their efforts toward giving Grady one of the devices.
Grady Hospital sent 11Alive a statement, saying:
We are unaware of efforts to raise funds for caring cradles at our hospital. Furthermore, Grady can provide grieving parents with the support they need after the loss of a child.
The Beacham's have plans to continue raising money to give the devices to other hospitals as well. Those interested in donating can find more information here.
"God is still good. When you’re going through theses situations, it’s hard to know why this stuff happens," Beecham said. “Somewhere in the middle of it, there’s peace. For us, it was being able to trust that God is still good. For some, it may be family or friends. We’d say it’s really opened our eyes to not taking for granted all the blessings that we have that we overlook.”